Good night, dear. Good night.
I have been crying non-stop for two days now. I wonder where my tears come from. I wonder how I can be hurt like this—it isn’t humane. It isn’t humane for anyone to be in this much pain, yet I’m here. I’m here and that hurts so much. It hurts so much that I can’t stress it enough. I’ve been hurting so much for myself to realize that words undervalue everything. I’ve kept thinking about how much of it is felt, how much of it is heard when I say every night seems like the last. Each lonely passing night is a torturous quest to reach another day. I wonder how people do it, life. I take a look at everyone and can’t help but go on and on questioning how they can do life that way and I’m here. And I’m here and I stay awake, eyes and mind wide open, hurting so terribly, crying endlessly. How can I ever get out of this prison. In a state of being human as cruel and excruciating as this, it’s almost impossible not to feel alone. In one of my sessions with my psychiatrist where I sob...